“They Didn’t Want to ‘Puff Me Up'”


Image of child with puffed cheeksI talked with my parents about my needs as a child for their affirmation and encouragement. They responded that they didn’t want to “puff me up.” So, they withheld words of affirmation. They didn’t encourage me in what I liked to do, They didn’t take an interest in my interests.

My parents did that so that I wouldn’t be puffed up. However, it backfired on them.

By the time I was in high school, I was so needy for their attention and affirmation, that I puffed myself up. I used arrogance and conceit to prove how awesome I was. Because my parents were too afraid of causing pride, they withheld something really important from me–love–and pride developed in me anyway.

So, for those people who think that Christians have a problem “already thinking too highly of themselves,” it isn’t because Christians are learning to love themselves in healthy ways as the Father loves them. There is a very different cause–lack of the Father’s love being expressed from parents to children, (and also among many believers as well).

Maybe if we loved ourselves as the Father loves us–Maybe if we let Abba love us–Maybe if we let others love us–Maybe if we loved others with Abba’s love, THEN we would not have a problem with people “thinking too highly of themselves.”

. . . A Pastor’s Response to Our Blog Post, “Is It Selfish To Love Yourself?” (shared with permission)

Note from J & D . . . This is so what we believe! Thanks for living your story and sharing it with others!

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NOTE:  If you or someone you know is in need of finding a safe place for emotional and/or spiritual healing and restoration, please contact us at The Father’s Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry through our web site at www.fathersheart.com or email us directly at fathersheartmin@gmail.com or  fathersheart@windstream.net.

We are located in the North Georgia Mountains in a retreat-oriented environment and have established opportunities for ministry to individuals or couples for time periods as little as a few hours to as long as five days.

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