“That’s A Wound”

If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness
can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.
—Brennan Manning

If you are asking Father God to heal you, you first have to know something is broken. So let us take you through a heart check.

When you have to be perfect to approve of yourself
. . . that’s a wound.
When you can’t let anyone know you are hurting
. . . that’s a wound.
When you avoid anger at all cost
. . . that’s a wound.
When you have been anxious for as long as you can remember
. . . that’s a wound.

If you always have to
. . . keep the peace
. . . be right in order to be okay with yourself
. . . be in control of your environment so you can rest
that’s a wound.

It’s a wound if you
. . . can’t say no.
. . . constantly compare yourself to others and fall short.
. . . are afraid to raise your hand even when you know the answer.
. . . stuff negative emotions or don’t really feel much anyway.
. . . can’t trust others because they may disappoint or reject you.

If you
. . . lie when it would be easier to just tell the truth
. . . can’t stand change
. . . are hypervigilant and can read a room as soon as you walk in
. . . have difficulty making decisions or finishing projects
any of these are wounds.

You’ve got a wound if you
. . . need people to like you.
. . . can’t stand to have anyone mad at you.
. . . can’t disappoint anyone.
. . . believe enmeshment is closeness.
. . . have difficulty asking for what you want.
. . . have difficulty sharing your opinions.
. . . worry about what others think of you.

If you are super responsible, so that everyone counts on you, or you are super irresponsible, and nobody can trust your word . . . you have a wound.

If you don’t take anyone or anything seriously
If you won’t tell anyone you are angry or hurt
If you feel empty or alone even when you are with people
. . . that’s a wound.

Many times you may think, “That’s just the way I am,” but it points to something deeper. Something in your past—especially in your childhood and the family system you grew up in—created these wounds.

When God opens the story of our past, he says, “It matters.” It matters because it’s true, whether we want to look at it or not. And when we partner with God to really see the child within each of us and own our story, Jesus will do what he set out to do from the beginning: heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free.


Father, you know me—every part of me. There are many things inside me that I have not understood. I haven’t always known the “why” behind many of my thoughts, feelings, or actions. I haven’t wanted to open up all the baggage from my past to put the pieces together. There are things in my life I have never told anyone—things better not remembered or addressed. At least, that is what I hoped when I buried them.

If I successfully stuffed those memories for this long, wouldn’t it be best if I just kept it that way? I guess that’s a no, right? And of course, you know everything and you still love me. Maybe with your help I could pull back the covers and find more of whom you made me to be. So I’m willing to do it—even though I’m scared. Thank you, Abba, that there is nothing in my past, present, or future that could make you love me less. Nothing. Nothing.

Taken from our new bookLoving God, Loving Myself.”


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NOTE:  If you or someone you know is in need of finding a safe place for emotional and/or spiritual healing and restoration, please contact us at The Father’s Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry through our web site at www.fathersheart.com or email us directly at fathersheartmin@gmail.com. We are located in the North Georgia Mountains in a retreat-oriented environment and have established opportunities for ministry to individuals or couples for time periods as little as a few hours to as long as five days.

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